Your Sh*tty Horoscope - September 2019

Here’s the deal - we love astrology at Sh*t That I Knit. Sun signs, moon signs, ascendants - we are here for all of it. We don’t take it too seriously, but anything that can predict what the future holds is good in our book. And if that means we need to type in our birthday, birth time, and birth city into 5 different chart readers and 14 different horoscope websites to know exactly when to launch new beanies and when not to (#mercuryisinretrograde), we’re in. We can’t explain what it is about knowing your sign and reading your horoscopes, but we love it. Some are awesome and accurate, some are vague and kind of outrageous, but all of them are fun to read, sometimes silly, and always a great way to procrastinate.

So in honor of our favorite pastime, we’ll be writing a monthly blog called Your Sh*tty Horoscope. We’ve discovered a new sign called Stikitarius - more details below! Who knows what you’ll find each month - maybe a few hints about what’s to come, maybe a bunch of vagaries that don’t mean sh*t to you. We shall see. But we should note, that we are not trained astrologists, so please don’t plan your life around what we have to say. Okay - happy reading!

STIKITARIUS

Pronounced: STIK-eh-tar-ee-us
Abbreviation: "Stikit"

The age of the pompomarius
Birthday: Between September 1 - August 31
Symbol: The Beanie
Element: Cold Weather
Ruling Planet: The Sun
Your Favorite Things: Snuggly warm commutes to work, fierce females, nice humans, ski mountains, a good skincare routine, the beach, fake plants, bright colors, sweaty workouts
Things you Hate: Tardiness, mean people, lack of effort, bad customer service, wearing the same RTR dress as your friends, taking life too seriously, being bad at stuff

This Month:

Life is going to be exciting this month, Stikit. It was a fun summer of lots of new adventures. You took some risks and you were tested. You welcome some new people into your life and they proved to be as trustworthy as you thought they would be. But as the sun rises in the east, you are ready to refocus on what you know best. On September 10th, expect to be blown away by some friends - both new and old - who will enter your life. There is a cold wind on the horizon, but do not be worried about this - it’s not as bad as you might assume. Because when it’s cold, new colors can be found.


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